There may come a point in your marriage when a breakup is inevitable and if that happens a good divorce lawyer will be the first item on a list of things to do; ensure they have at least the following abilities:*Skilled in this area of law *Behave in the proper manner, befitting the situation *Proven to be reliable As far as experience is concerned, an attorney should be able to show that at least half of their work involves divorce cases and have good negotiation skills as well. They will need to be someone in whom you can place your trust and feel comfortable working with so if these criteria cannot be met then you will need to look elsewhere.Adversarial attorneys will use the hammer to crack a walnut approach which often happens when these cases go to court whereas an attorney who specializes in mediation will take a much calmer approach. Your divorce lawyer will be able to help with some aspects but there will be things only you can do so think carefully about what you need explained before you contact them.Costs are always an issue so write down everything you want to ask and in a logical order always making sure there is an accurate record of times dates and the duration of conversations. Keep a record of all correspondence and conversations and try where possible to have conversations on the phone which will reduce the amount of time required to see them in person.Your divorce attorney is just a resource for legal matters so do not try to get them personally involved as that is not their function; if you need emotional support there are others who can help with this. Unless you actually want your divorce lawyer to do something about your spouse's behavior or actions, do not use them for general complaints as it is costly and probably won't achieve anything.Being in control of your own case and your own life is the single best thing you can do, so it is essential that you have a lawyer who can work on that basis. If they are there purely to act in accordance with the  legal issue  of divorce it will be more efficient utilization of their services and you will be making the decisions. Ask that you be sent copies of all documents and letters and let them know that you expect phone calls to be answered by the next working day after all you are the one paying the bills.If money is an issue, it may be a preferable for you to only contact a lawyer for legal advice on a marital settlement but not representation. For someone taking this route, it is only important that you approach a lawyer to have certain aspects explained once you have carried out you own research. There is no reason your divorce lawyer cannot be used purely in a consultancy role to help draw up a marital settlement and if need be can step in if things do not go according to plan.